The Freudian Slip
by MarieofIlledra
Summary: My Shenny rewrite of what happened on Stuart and Penny's second date in "The Classified Materials Turbulence".


**I just watched "The Classified Materials Turbulence", and my Shenny brain cried a little (lot) at all the Leonard/Penny nonsense. And then, I had an idea. And this fic was born. So here is my almost-canon-ish take on what really happened on Stuart and Penny's second date. **

Penny rolled her eyes as yet another attempt to flirt with Stuart fell flat. This was even worse than when their last date had been crashed by Sheldon. Stuart seemed nervous, almost…frightened of her.

She sent a somewhat desperate glance at the waitress, who bustled over immediately. "Can I get you anything to drink?" The forty-something woman asked kindly. She had seen enough dates-gone-bad to recognize one immediately.

Penny sent her a grateful smile. "Wine, please." Lots of it. She added silently. Stewart gave her another one of those nervous looks he had been giving her all evening.

"So…. How's business at the comic store going?"

An hour and two bottles of wine later, Penny was feeling much better about the date. Sure, it had been full of awkward silences… and uncomfortable conversation…and more awkward silences. But the wine was good. And it was kind of cool to be on a date with a guy who was smarter than she was. I mean, he was no theoretical physicist, but he was light years ahead of her usual jock type. And he was tall. And had nice eyes. They weren't quite blue, unfortunately, but they were nice.

She downed the last of the wine and smiled. All that he really needed to was relax a little. Well, she could fix that.

"You ready to get out of here?" She asked, smiling seductively at him.

Her effort was wasted, as he was carefully avoiding looking at her for more than a second at a time. He had been doing that all night. It had irritated her up until the end of the first bottle of wine.

She giggled as she stumbled slightly on the way out the door. "Oops." She clutched Stuart's arm, and smiled when he allowed it.

Finally, as he helped her into the car, he met her eyes.

Penny pouted prettily at him. "What happened, Stuart? I thought you liked me?"

He nodded nervously as he climbed into the driver's seat. "I..I do. I just don't want to- I'm trying to be slow-"

Penny shook her head. "Silly Stuart." She muttered, deciding to throw caution out the window. Leaning across the car, she grabbed him be the front of his shirt and kissed him.

Stuart responded enthusiastically. _That's more like it._ Penny thought in satisfaction. This was starting to feel like a proper date. And Stuart was a decent kisser, much better than she'd expected from a man who lived in the back of a comic store. Nibbling on his lower lip mischievously, she gave in to the moment.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't the _best _way of dealing with an awkward date. But she had been in a bit of a dry spell, lately. And he was a genuinely nice guy. And she deserved this for putting up with the uncomfortable dinner.

"mmm, that's nice." She mumbled encouragingly as he tentatively started to kiss her neck. Her eyes closed involuntarily. Oh yeah, it had definitely been too long since she kissed someone.

She tugged his lips back to hers and savored the feeling of his long hands tracing random shapes across her back. She loved it when guys touched her back while kissing her. Something about it never failed to turn her on. Especially if the guy had nice hands.

He moved to nibble her ear and her eyes rolled back into her head. "Oh, yes." She gasped. "That feels amazing."

She had always been vocal in bed, and fortunately he didn't seem to mind. He clutched her closer with every encouragement she voiced.

"Mmm, Sheldon, don't stop." She groaned, thought process deserting her completely as he gently bit the spot on her neck that-

She was jolted abruptly back to reality as he pushed violently away from her.

"_What?_" He demanded. She blinked, confused.

"What's wrong?"

He stared at her in absolute horror. "You…You just called me SHELDON." He managed, looking vaguely sick.

Her eyes widened. "Are you _insane_? I did…" She replayed the past couple seconds and her jaw dropped. She stared at him, equally horrified. "Oh, my _god._" She gasped. "Stuart, I- I am so, unbelievably sorry. I- I don't know _what _I was thinking…"

His horror was slowly turning to shock. "But… you said Sheldon's name. While we were…"

Penny paled further. "I've never even thought of him that way, I swear. It was a total accident. It's just…I'm sure that I'm just so used to saying his name in other, _completely non sexual_, contexts. I was not thinking about him. And Stuart and Sheldon are really kind of similar sounding, right?" Oh, god. She was babbling, trying desperately to make this less awful.

Stuart shook his head. "No. They aren't. And I don't think it works that way. I'm just going to take you home, now."

Penny just nodded, still in shock. "I am so, so sorry." She apologized again.

Stuart shook his head. "I just…I can't believe that it was _his _name you said. I mean, you are a beautiful woman, obviously I didn't ever really think it could work between us. And I know you have history with Leonard, but I really didn't think that I was your type. But… Sheldon?"

Penny paled further. There was only one thing to do. Stuart was sweet, and she was sorry that she had hurt his feelings, but the guys would all want to know what had happened on their date, and she knew that he would tell them. Eventually. And that…she could not handle. Bad enough that it had happened. Worse that it was Sheldon Lee Cooper, PHD and resident almost crazy person's name that she had said. But the idea of Leonard finding out? Unacceptable. Not to mention, Sheldon would probably never be comfortable alone with her again.

As they pulled up to the apartment building, she summoned her courage and turned to him. "I am really, truly sorry Stuart. And you have every right to hate me. But you cannot breath a word of this to anyone. EVER. Do you hear me? If _anyone _asks about this night, you lie." She gave him her best threatening glare.

Stuart shrugged, helplessly. "What am I supposed to say? We were making out and it was great, I just decided not to call you after?" He scoffed. "They all know that there's a lot a guy like me would forgive to be with a girl like you."

She paused. She was going to regret this. She already knew. "Leonard. Tell them that I said Leonard's name."

Stuart sucked in a breath, looking at her like she was a terrible person. "That's cold. You know that will give him hope."

She cringed. "Yeah, I'll deal with it. I am so sorry."

Stuart shook his head. "I'll live. Frankly, I'm more worried about Leonard."

Penny cringed again as she started up the stairs. Yup, officially the worst date ever. And she was definitely going to hell. She had managed to hurt Stuart, who was a perfectly nice guy, even if he wasn't for her. And worse, when this got back to Leonard she would have to hurt him too.

Sighing wearily, she checked her watch. Leonard would still be out with Raj and Howard. She debated the idea of knocking on the guy's apartment and trying to coerce Sheldon into making her a tea. She hesitated. Was it too weird to see him? Probably. She knew that she would have to figure out what, exactly, had been going through her brain at some point. But she so did not want to think about it right now.

She knocked on Sheldon and Leonard's door despite her misgivings. Tea sounded really good.

Sheldon opened the door, surprised to see her alone. "Hello."

She smiled, used to his rituals by now. She breezed past him to collapse onto the couch. "Date didn't go well."

Sheldon looked unsurprised. He took in her expression. She didn't look like she had been crying, but she didn't look happy either. Probably he should just ask. "Are you upset?"

Penny smothered a smile. "Yes, sweetie. I didn't feel like being alone right now."

Sheldon nodded, back on familiar territory. "Then social conventions dictate that I offer you a comforting hot beverage."

She smiled weakly. "Thanks, honey. You have no idea how much I need it." She watched him prepare her favorite tea, comforted by the routine of it all. "What's it called when you accidently say something that you didn't mean?"

Sheldon frowned at her, his hands moving surely to measure out the exact quantities of sugar she liked in her tea. "That's a vague question, Penny, I'm not sure I know how to answer."

She shook her head. "Like, when you accidently call someone the wrong name."

"Oh. Technically, that's called parapraxis, although the more…common…phrasing is a Freudian slip."

She nodded vigorously. "What does that mean?"

He looked vaguely upset as he carefully handed her the tea. "Well, if you believe in psychoanalysis, then it is a trick your mind uses to inform you of unconscious desires or thoughts." He responded absently.

Penny stared at him in horror, spluttering as his words registered and she swallowed too much hot tea.

Sheldon eyed her with some degree of concern. "Not that I believe in anything of the sort. Psychology is, at best, an imprecise and highly illogical attempt at science. After all, you cannot test most of the hypotheses."

Penny nodded, vaguely. "I'm sure you are right. It's probably hokum."

Her eyes darted to his hands. Long, capable hands that manipulated game controllers so well. She shook her head defiantly. She was NOT attracted to Sheldon.

She redirected her eyes determinedly to his face, where she immediately noticed the piercing blue of his eyes. Blue always had been one of her favorite colors. Not that she noticed his eyes, of course. Because she wasn't attracted to him. Not one bit. Not even if he smelled like clean laundry, and grass, and…

Damn it.


End file.
